I was driving back to my parents house after a long day at work and some significant time killing, when I started thinking about heaven. At work, while I was baking my frillionth cookie and rethinking some of my life choices, I tuned into what the chef was saying to one of the sous chefs. I'm not sure what lead to the conversation, but I heard the chef suddenly say, "So what are you going to do when you die?". My ears perked up, and the sous chef said, "Nothing happens when you die. You're just dead and in the ground." For the next 7 minutes or so, the chef talked to this woman about Hell, The Bible, God and salvation. I just sat, mesmerized by how he did it so lovingly, firmly and all while chopping veggies (she chopped chicken). He didn't making it a "thing" he just told her Hell is real, so is God and you need Jesus. Apparently, he'd given her a Bible before and she didn't really do anything with it. This time was different I guess, because she asked questions. He gave her suggestions as to what to read first in the Bible, and explained how the copy he'd given her was different from her mother's Catholic Bible. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it! Sure, I've had several conversations about faith while at work and have had the chance to even pray with a few people, but usually it's with believers who are struggling with their faith or occasionally commenting on something someone says. The man saw an opportunity and jumped in without hesitation! That's how it's supposed to be! After the conversation came to a natural end, they went about their business, no awkwardness, no anger, just more chopping, stirring and serving up tasty food. Since it blessed me, I thought I'd bless you with that little tidbit.
Something else that rustled up the heavenly thoughts was listening to the radio. Given that I spend roughly 1.5 hours in the car a day (on a good day), I have ample opportunity to listen to the radio and my CDs. I love worship music that doesn't point you towards itself, but towards God. There are some groups and some songs that make so much ruckus and are so distracting that God completely gets washed out, and you're just left depleted after the emotional adrenaline rush.
Anywho, I was listening to one of my favorite groups when it hit me. Imagine the most intense worship experience you've ever had. I'm talking the point where you thought you just couldn't take anymore. Where God felt so near, you seriously feared you'd be crushed from the weight of Him, blinded by His beauty and struck dumb by His glory. Times all of that by a ka-jillion. That's heaven (to me, at least). Think about it...you may have felt Him all those other times, but in heaven, He'll actually physically BE THERE. Thank goodness we'll have new bodies, because I know my current shell would not be able to withstand heaven unleashed.
How exciting is that? Spending all eternity worshipping the infinitely beautiful, King of kings and Lord of Lords? I'm just gonna say it now, pretty sure the DCB will be reunited and playing continuously. Hallelujah!
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
What do you really really want?
One of my guilty pleasures is Sex and the City. Even though the show has been off the air for a while now, I still love watching the reruns. It's a morally bankrupt show, I know, and it's not something I should be filling my mind with, I understand all of these things. This is why I said it was a guilty pleasure. Last night, during one of my all time favorite scenes from the show, I had an epiphany of sorts.
The character Charlotte (who I feel most closely relates to me in both style and personality), broke up with the love of her life, Harry, a short, bald attorney who is Jewish. She converted to Judaism (she was formally Episcopalian) so that he could marry her. They were serious, but he hadn't proposed, and she assumed that once she converted a proposal would be immediate. They got into an argument when she demanded that he "set the date!". He left, and she was heartbroken. Fast forward two weeks, her friends are trying to set up her with people and suggesting she get back out there. She goes to a Jewish singles mixer, and after talking to a really nice guy, realizes she's not ready to date because she's still madly in love with Harry. She turns to scan the room, hoping that by some random chance Harry is there. Of course, he's there, and their eyes meet. She walks over, and begins a heartfelt confession of her "foolishness" and says, "I don't care if we ever get married. Harry, I just want to be with you. If you could just call me or maybe even ask me out again, I would really appreciate it." **Spoiler alert** He then drops on one knee and proposes. Happy ending? We'll see.
Exhibit B is in one of my favorite movies, "He's Just Not That Into You". Jennifer Aniston's character finally comes to a point where she draws a line in the sand and says to her boyfriend (Ben Affleck) of 7 years, "Will you ever marry me?" When he doesn't say anything, she breaks up with him. Over the coming weeks, she goes through being part of her younger sister's wedding and her father having a heart attack. She becomes increasingly upset and lonely. Ben Affleck's character then waltz's in like a knight in tarnished armor and this once wonderfully courageous woman breaks down and says, "I don't care if we ever get married, I just want you for the rest of my life. I am willing to take marriage completely off the table." **Spoiler alter** He then proposes.
What is the moral of these stories? What message does this send? Women: toss your standards, hopes and dreams aside. Do whatever it takes to get a man. Men: wait a woman out. You don't have to rise to clear the bar, just wait until you can slither under it. Don't worry about being a man of character and integrity, one who honors and respects women and provides for his mate. If you wait her out, she'll get so desperate, she'll come crawling to you on your terms. No need to take initiative, she'll eventually do it.I think what's most depressing for me is that I was sucked in by all of this. I was so caught up in the rush that these women got their man in the end, that I didn't think about how they got there. I was kind of proud of both of them for saying "I want to get married", and I overlooked their weakness in the end.
I know, as a general rule, we shouldn't look to media for guidance and life advice, but this is one instance where I see art imitating life. All across the country, and likely the world, scenarios like these are plaid out daily. Women try to be true to themselves, try to hold a certain standard, but in the end the pressure to get a man is too great, and they cave. Women are afraid to expect more. At some point, we started to believe that expecting men to be men would make us seem needy and demanding. Somewhere along the way, having standards guaranteed singleness. We're so afraid of seeming weak, needy, snobby, or unappealing that we can't even let a man open a door for us without a fight. A life of singleness seems far worse a fate than being stuck in a mixed up relationship in which we call all the shots, and our significant other is some sniveling, weak excuse for a man. So many women complain that there are no real men left in society. Of course there aren't, the feminists have locked them all in a basement, labeling them Neanderthals and chauvinistic pigs. Rather than give their guys opportunities to step up and be the kind of man they should be, Charlotte and Aniston's characters crumble. Women today are afraid to wait for what God has for us and just like in musical chairs, we scramble for whatever is left. We leap desperately for what we feel is our last shot.
Psalm 27 verse 14 says it well, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
The character Charlotte (who I feel most closely relates to me in both style and personality), broke up with the love of her life, Harry, a short, bald attorney who is Jewish. She converted to Judaism (she was formally Episcopalian) so that he could marry her. They were serious, but he hadn't proposed, and she assumed that once she converted a proposal would be immediate. They got into an argument when she demanded that he "set the date!". He left, and she was heartbroken. Fast forward two weeks, her friends are trying to set up her with people and suggesting she get back out there. She goes to a Jewish singles mixer, and after talking to a really nice guy, realizes she's not ready to date because she's still madly in love with Harry. She turns to scan the room, hoping that by some random chance Harry is there. Of course, he's there, and their eyes meet. She walks over, and begins a heartfelt confession of her "foolishness" and says, "I don't care if we ever get married. Harry, I just want to be with you. If you could just call me or maybe even ask me out again, I would really appreciate it." **Spoiler alert** He then drops on one knee and proposes. Happy ending? We'll see.
Exhibit B is in one of my favorite movies, "He's Just Not That Into You". Jennifer Aniston's character finally comes to a point where she draws a line in the sand and says to her boyfriend (Ben Affleck) of 7 years, "Will you ever marry me?" When he doesn't say anything, she breaks up with him. Over the coming weeks, she goes through being part of her younger sister's wedding and her father having a heart attack. She becomes increasingly upset and lonely. Ben Affleck's character then waltz's in like a knight in tarnished armor and this once wonderfully courageous woman breaks down and says, "I don't care if we ever get married, I just want you for the rest of my life. I am willing to take marriage completely off the table." **Spoiler alter** He then proposes.
What is the moral of these stories? What message does this send? Women: toss your standards, hopes and dreams aside. Do whatever it takes to get a man. Men: wait a woman out. You don't have to rise to clear the bar, just wait until you can slither under it. Don't worry about being a man of character and integrity, one who honors and respects women and provides for his mate. If you wait her out, she'll get so desperate, she'll come crawling to you on your terms. No need to take initiative, she'll eventually do it.I think what's most depressing for me is that I was sucked in by all of this. I was so caught up in the rush that these women got their man in the end, that I didn't think about how they got there. I was kind of proud of both of them for saying "I want to get married", and I overlooked their weakness in the end.
I know, as a general rule, we shouldn't look to media for guidance and life advice, but this is one instance where I see art imitating life. All across the country, and likely the world, scenarios like these are plaid out daily. Women try to be true to themselves, try to hold a certain standard, but in the end the pressure to get a man is too great, and they cave. Women are afraid to expect more. At some point, we started to believe that expecting men to be men would make us seem needy and demanding. Somewhere along the way, having standards guaranteed singleness. We're so afraid of seeming weak, needy, snobby, or unappealing that we can't even let a man open a door for us without a fight. A life of singleness seems far worse a fate than being stuck in a mixed up relationship in which we call all the shots, and our significant other is some sniveling, weak excuse for a man. So many women complain that there are no real men left in society. Of course there aren't, the feminists have locked them all in a basement, labeling them Neanderthals and chauvinistic pigs. Rather than give their guys opportunities to step up and be the kind of man they should be, Charlotte and Aniston's characters crumble. Women today are afraid to wait for what God has for us and just like in musical chairs, we scramble for whatever is left. We leap desperately for what we feel is our last shot.
Psalm 27 verse 14 says it well, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
bound with strips of duct tape
I've been thinking about church a lot lately. Studying the anatomy of The Body. Human beings do so many things that tend to make no sense at all, yet not only are many of these things not frowned up on, but some are actually encouraged. Take, for example, having children. For a woman, you endure 9 months of having another human being being smooshed inside your body (which up until now, only barely had enough room for you), then after the smooshing comes the gushing and bringing forth of life. Hours and hours of screaming, pushing and all kinds of body fluids flowing out of you. For what end? To have screaming, pooping, needy little person to burst forth and demand constant attention for the next 13 years or so. After that point, you're left to deal with some incredibly awkward stranger living in your home, eating your food and spending your money, all while managing to ignore your existence. This person will see any sign of life on your part as an extreme violation of their existence...a direct assault on their popularity, the likes of which will undoubtedly end their so-called life. You finally begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel when this person (heaven forbid you have more than one of them), who you squeezed out in a fashion akin to something out of a horror movie, turns 18 and ventures out into the real world. After dropping yet another small fortune on this bigger version of the screaming, pooping, mess, you begin to enjoy the freedom of post-person life. Hopefully the other person who helped you create the third person is still at your side. Somehow this screaming, pooping mess will likely end back up in your house, only older and more dangerous (I say dangerous because they are now legally old enough to do more stuff). Eventually, with any luck, this person will leave your home, perhaps because they found another person or because they just couldn't take it anymore. Yet we persist in the bearing and raising of children.
Church is an interesting phenomenon. It's not a legal requirement. The government can't make you go, and after a while, neither can your mother. People willingly come together to admit there is nothing good in them, and they require more help than any other feeble, troubled, messed-up human being could provide. When you walk into a church, if you've got a proper understanding of things, you know you're coming to the place where all the sinners gather. If you look to your right and to your left, you are looking at people who will at some point sin against you. Church people can hurt you in very unique and unexpected ways. Walking through those doors can be like walking into a mine field. No matter how lightly you tread, you're still running the risk of being blown to Smithereens, not to mention the potential collateral damage. In spite of all of this, we still choose to gather together in vulnerability to worship the One who made us all. We argue, bicker, and wound each other time and time again with the expectation that grace will be extended, peace restored and fried chicken will be brought to the next pot luck. What on earth compels us to do this? In any other situation, these actions would be seen as incredibly foolish, and in some cases an intervention would be conducted. That we subject ourselves to life together with no legally obligatory reason for doing so, is borderline insanity. Yet we persist.
Let's explore the One who thought up all of this ridiculousness. This One, created us...He knows how vile, unforgiving and unloving we tend to be. He knows we will argue, bicker and wound one another about a frillion times. It is not out of ignorance that we are called to life together. This is on purpose. It sounds like something out of the twisted, sadistic mind of a madman. That we worship Him, is astounding. This holy, loving, unbelievably generous One calls us to life together as a Church, binding us together with His love. Now I understand there are huge theological yada-yadas behind all of this. Trust me, I know. It's just that I've been thinking about the things I devote my time and energy to, and it sort of messed with my head a bit that church and church activities are voluntary. If one were to decide they'd had enough of playing Russian roulette in a mine field (aka going to church), they could simply stop. There's little the church could legally do to make them continue (all sense of moral/theological reasons aside). Yet we continue to gather together. As wounds are inflicted, we treat them and continue our Sunday stroll about the mind field...together.
***please note*** I say all this, not as a knock against church, God, or parenting but with a more awestruck attitude that God orchestrates all this...that God helps us get over ourselves. I just didn't feel like getting bogged down with a deeper explanation of everything.
Church is an interesting phenomenon. It's not a legal requirement. The government can't make you go, and after a while, neither can your mother. People willingly come together to admit there is nothing good in them, and they require more help than any other feeble, troubled, messed-up human being could provide. When you walk into a church, if you've got a proper understanding of things, you know you're coming to the place where all the sinners gather. If you look to your right and to your left, you are looking at people who will at some point sin against you. Church people can hurt you in very unique and unexpected ways. Walking through those doors can be like walking into a mine field. No matter how lightly you tread, you're still running the risk of being blown to Smithereens, not to mention the potential collateral damage. In spite of all of this, we still choose to gather together in vulnerability to worship the One who made us all. We argue, bicker, and wound each other time and time again with the expectation that grace will be extended, peace restored and fried chicken will be brought to the next pot luck. What on earth compels us to do this? In any other situation, these actions would be seen as incredibly foolish, and in some cases an intervention would be conducted. That we subject ourselves to life together with no legally obligatory reason for doing so, is borderline insanity. Yet we persist.
Let's explore the One who thought up all of this ridiculousness. This One, created us...He knows how vile, unforgiving and unloving we tend to be. He knows we will argue, bicker and wound one another about a frillion times. It is not out of ignorance that we are called to life together. This is on purpose. It sounds like something out of the twisted, sadistic mind of a madman. That we worship Him, is astounding. This holy, loving, unbelievably generous One calls us to life together as a Church, binding us together with His love. Now I understand there are huge theological yada-yadas behind all of this. Trust me, I know. It's just that I've been thinking about the things I devote my time and energy to, and it sort of messed with my head a bit that church and church activities are voluntary. If one were to decide they'd had enough of playing Russian roulette in a mine field (aka going to church), they could simply stop. There's little the church could legally do to make them continue (all sense of moral/theological reasons aside). Yet we continue to gather together. As wounds are inflicted, we treat them and continue our Sunday stroll about the mind field...together.
***please note*** I say all this, not as a knock against church, God, or parenting but with a more awestruck attitude that God orchestrates all this...that God helps us get over ourselves. I just didn't feel like getting bogged down with a deeper explanation of everything.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Home is where...
Earlier tonight, a fierce storm was brewing over my humble little town. Lightening was illuminating the sky, making it almost as bright as day. The cloudy sky was filled with shadowy silhouettes, and it looked like lights were being turned on in distant rooms. As I was driving with my head out of the window, I was struck with the sudden overwhelming desire to be Home. Not in my cozy apartment or my parents familiar abode, but HOME...really HOME. I longed to take up residence in those distant rooms hinted at by the lightening bolts. I wanted to sit at my Father's feet and be endlessly content in His presence and perfect peace.
O Lord, you are my Dwelling Place, my Treasure, my True Home. You are Magnificent and Beautiful. I cannot keep Your praises from bubbling up from my innermost being. You alone are so infinitely worthy! Come quickly, my Rock, lest my heart become faint from longing. Thank you for wanting me, pursuing me, and loving me. Amen.
O Lord, you are my Dwelling Place, my Treasure, my True Home. You are Magnificent and Beautiful. I cannot keep Your praises from bubbling up from my innermost being. You alone are so infinitely worthy! Come quickly, my Rock, lest my heart become faint from longing. Thank you for wanting me, pursuing me, and loving me. Amen.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Cry from the clay
A thousand sins, painfully written
On my heart, my soul is stricken
I heartily long for You to stay
And wash, these wretched sins away
Make me new as the morn,
Please mend my heart; as it is torn.
Catch my tears as they fall,
I know You see and number them all.
When at last my soul is free
O, dear Lord Your praise will fly from me
A new life has been given
Pray I, my God, my soul be wholly smitten
On my heart, my soul is stricken
I heartily long for You to stay
And wash, these wretched sins away
Make me new as the morn,
Please mend my heart; as it is torn.
Catch my tears as they fall,
I know You see and number them all.
When at last my soul is free
O, dear Lord Your praise will fly from me
A new life has been given
Pray I, my God, my soul be wholly smitten
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Visions of Thee
Loosen the bonds that hold me back from Thee, O Lord
That I may fly into Thy waiting arms.
The view from atop my tiny thimble is nothing, O Lord
Compared to the mountain tops you call me to.
You, O God, are my Strength, my Hope, my Home
You, Father, cradle me to Your bosom when I need comfort.
Leave me not to my own devices, my own dreams, but show me my place, Beloved
In Your bigger picture.
Though my heart is wounded, weary, and scared
You, my King, long for it.
O God, my God, how You pine for me!
I am a terrible lover in that I am prone to chase after others
All the while I leave behind, You, O Faithful One.
The One who bled for me, died for me, and rose for me.
For this, Redeemer and Friend, I confess a thousand times,
I have not loved as You love, nay, not even close.
I have not sung Your praises loudly enough, frequently enough
Though 'tis a lovely melody indeed, my Rock.
Undeserving as I am, Savior, I ask that You continue to devastate me.
Make my heart, Your dwelling place, abide in me.
In deed, Beautiful One, be Thou my vision.
That I may fly into Thy waiting arms.
The view from atop my tiny thimble is nothing, O Lord
Compared to the mountain tops you call me to.
You, O God, are my Strength, my Hope, my Home
You, Father, cradle me to Your bosom when I need comfort.
Leave me not to my own devices, my own dreams, but show me my place, Beloved
In Your bigger picture.
Though my heart is wounded, weary, and scared
You, my King, long for it.
O God, my God, how You pine for me!
I am a terrible lover in that I am prone to chase after others
All the while I leave behind, You, O Faithful One.
The One who bled for me, died for me, and rose for me.
For this, Redeemer and Friend, I confess a thousand times,
I have not loved as You love, nay, not even close.
I have not sung Your praises loudly enough, frequently enough
Though 'tis a lovely melody indeed, my Rock.
Undeserving as I am, Savior, I ask that You continue to devastate me.
Make my heart, Your dwelling place, abide in me.
In deed, Beautiful One, be Thou my vision.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I need You to love me
"I Need You To Love Me"
Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the truth
I don't deserve You
[Chorus:]
But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me
I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how You could cherish me
'Cause You're a God who has all things
And still You want me
Your love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Random
"For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen" -Romans 1:25
I've had many tidbits of Scripture running through my head, lately. I just want to share a few.
"For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me." -Psalm 51:3
"...for the Lord was moved to pity by their groaning because of those who oppressed and afflicted them." -Judges 2: 18b
The Old Testament has caught my attention much more lately. It seems you can't turn a page, without reading "Then the sons of Israel again did evil in the sight of the Lord..." (this particular phrase is from Judges 4:1) I'm frequently plagued with feelings of shame for sinning, yet again. It's not so much that I expect perfection from myself, but I just don't want to sin anymore. I especially am tired of my "home sins". Home sins are those sins you keep committing, again and again. I must constantly re-evaluate my motives and my thoughts. The Lord is always refining me, and it's not particularly fun. My wicked ways are disgusting at best, but ...I am not alone. Seriously, flip through the Old Testament sometime, and see how often you read "Then the sons of Israel again did evil in the sight of the Lord" or something along those lines. Again and again, God met their sin with mercy, grace and forgiveness...after punishing them. He is a just God, and cannot let sin go unpunished, but like a loving parent, once the punishment is over, a flood of mercy washes over the wounds like a balm.
Satan tries to isolate us...divide and conquer. People of God, rejoice, for the battle is already won! Our Savior has defeated the enemy! When the question, "Am I the only one who has felt this way?" plagues you, you only have to look to the Scripture for your answer. You are NOT the only one who has had to repeatedly seek the forgiveness, mercy and love of our Father. The blood of the Lamb is sufficient to cover all of your guilty stains! You are not alone.
I've had many tidbits of Scripture running through my head, lately. I just want to share a few.
"For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me." -Psalm 51:3
"...for the Lord was moved to pity by their groaning because of those who oppressed and afflicted them." -Judges 2: 18b
The Old Testament has caught my attention much more lately. It seems you can't turn a page, without reading "Then the sons of Israel again did evil in the sight of the Lord..." (this particular phrase is from Judges 4:1) I'm frequently plagued with feelings of shame for sinning, yet again. It's not so much that I expect perfection from myself, but I just don't want to sin anymore. I especially am tired of my "home sins". Home sins are those sins you keep committing, again and again. I must constantly re-evaluate my motives and my thoughts. The Lord is always refining me, and it's not particularly fun. My wicked ways are disgusting at best, but ...I am not alone. Seriously, flip through the Old Testament sometime, and see how often you read "Then the sons of Israel again did evil in the sight of the Lord" or something along those lines. Again and again, God met their sin with mercy, grace and forgiveness...after punishing them. He is a just God, and cannot let sin go unpunished, but like a loving parent, once the punishment is over, a flood of mercy washes over the wounds like a balm.
Satan tries to isolate us...divide and conquer. People of God, rejoice, for the battle is already won! Our Savior has defeated the enemy! When the question, "Am I the only one who has felt this way?" plagues you, you only have to look to the Scripture for your answer. You are NOT the only one who has had to repeatedly seek the forgiveness, mercy and love of our Father. The blood of the Lamb is sufficient to cover all of your guilty stains! You are not alone.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Chances are, if I wear a silly grin, the moment you walk into view...
Occasionally, I find myself indulging in some pretty self-centered thoughts. For instance, when I walk outside at night and the weather is absolutely perfect...not too cold, not too hot, a hint of humidity, a light breeze and the stars seem close enough to touch; I tend to think God put all that together just for me. Now I'm aware everyone else can feel the breeze, see the stars and enjoy the night as well, but maybe not appreciate it the way I do. What about stumbling across some wonderfully isolated, country road with cows, tall grass and wildflowers as far as the eye can see? Not that many people would get to see that...surely that's for me, too. Or those intensely gray days that promise rain. Usually those bring everyone's spirits down, well, everyone except me. They lift my mood like nothing else. On those days in particular I really feel pursued by the Lover of my soul.
I just want to sit and bask in His extravagant love and affection. The Lord knows what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, what makes me sigh dreamily, and what will be a source of great delight. He knows me. He slowly and tenderly draws my hear out, and calls me to higher heights with Him. "My Beloved speaks and says to me, 'Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come away...'" (SOS 2:10).
I'll admit, it's hard to keep from running the streets shouting of the awesomeness of my Creator, sometimes. I suppose it's not too different from being in love with a man...except men give a dozen roses; God gives a field full. "Behold, yee peoples, the work of my Beloved! Make note of the stars in the sky, the flowers in the field, the cool breeze on a hot day, the contagious laughter of a child; all the handiwork of the Lover of my Soul!" I am proud to call Him mine, and thanks to the blood of the Lamb that was shed for me, I am His. Hallelujah!
I just want to sit and bask in His extravagant love and affection. The Lord knows what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, what makes me sigh dreamily, and what will be a source of great delight. He knows me. He slowly and tenderly draws my hear out, and calls me to higher heights with Him. "My Beloved speaks and says to me, 'Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come away...'" (SOS 2:10).
I'll admit, it's hard to keep from running the streets shouting of the awesomeness of my Creator, sometimes. I suppose it's not too different from being in love with a man...except men give a dozen roses; God gives a field full. "Behold, yee peoples, the work of my Beloved! Make note of the stars in the sky, the flowers in the field, the cool breeze on a hot day, the contagious laughter of a child; all the handiwork of the Lover of my Soul!" I am proud to call Him mine, and thanks to the blood of the Lamb that was shed for me, I am His. Hallelujah!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Undignified and okay with it
Dwelling on our sin, our short comings, our sorrows, heartaches and secret miseries can be incredibly easy to do. We allow shame to weigh down our worship, guilt to paralyze our praise. No, we're not perfect right now, but we are being perfected. Our God is merciful, gracious, loving, kind, patient, jealous for our love, righteous, holy, beautiful, mighty, compassionate, nurturing, faithful, unchanging, passionate,funny...give a million people a million years and they'd never finish this list. They'd run out of words and still find the description of our King lacking!
When I first started my quiet time a couple of hours ago, did I feel like praising Him? No. Did I feel like looking outside of myself? No. I came with my list of frustrations, hurts, worries and everything else. Am I wrong to take those things to Him in prayer? Of course not. He cares very much about our burdens; about what's on our hearts and minds. After a certain point, however, we've got to look up. After a certain point, we've just got to stop talking and let Him hold us. So during the course of this time I've gone from standing in front of Him with my list is problems, to sitting in His lap with His arms around me. It's a good place to be.
When I Think About The Lord (not sure who wrote the words)
When I think about the Lord,
how He saved me, how He raised me,
how He filled me with the Holy Ghost,
how he healed me to the uttermost,
When I think about the Lord,
how he picked me up, and turned me around,
how He placed my feet on solid ground
It makes me want to shout:
HALLELUJAH!
Thank you, Jesus!
Lord, You're worthy of all the glory, and all the honor, and all the praise!
It makes me want to shout:
HALLELUJAH!
Thank You, Jesus!
Lord, You're worthy of all the glory, and all the honor, and all the praise!
When I first started my quiet time a couple of hours ago, did I feel like praising Him? No. Did I feel like looking outside of myself? No. I came with my list of frustrations, hurts, worries and everything else. Am I wrong to take those things to Him in prayer? Of course not. He cares very much about our burdens; about what's on our hearts and minds. After a certain point, however, we've got to look up. After a certain point, we've just got to stop talking and let Him hold us. So during the course of this time I've gone from standing in front of Him with my list is problems, to sitting in His lap with His arms around me. It's a good place to be.
When I Think About The Lord (not sure who wrote the words)
When I think about the Lord,
how He saved me, how He raised me,
how He filled me with the Holy Ghost,
how he healed me to the uttermost,
When I think about the Lord,
how he picked me up, and turned me around,
how He placed my feet on solid ground
It makes me want to shout:
HALLELUJAH!
Thank you, Jesus!
Lord, You're worthy of all the glory, and all the honor, and all the praise!
It makes me want to shout:
HALLELUJAH!
Thank You, Jesus!
Lord, You're worthy of all the glory, and all the honor, and all the praise!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Nuggets
Here are a few passages God has led me to recently.
"(37) As soon as He was approaching, near the descent of the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began to praise God joyfully with a loud voice for all the miracles which they had seen, (38) shouting: 'BLESSED IS THE KING WHO COMES IN THE NAME OF THE LORD; Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!' (39) Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Him, 'Teacher, rebuke Your disciples.' (40) But Jesus answered, 'I tell you, if these become silent, the stones will cry out!'" Luke 19:37-40
"(14) Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14
"(37) As soon as He was approaching, near the descent of the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began to praise God joyfully with a loud voice for all the miracles which they had seen, (38) shouting: 'BLESSED IS THE KING WHO COMES IN THE NAME OF THE LORD; Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!' (39) Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Him, 'Teacher, rebuke Your disciples.' (40) But Jesus answered, 'I tell you, if these become silent, the stones will cry out!'" Luke 19:37-40
"(14) Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14
My lover calls to me
For those of you who are married, you would, without a doubt, be able to discern your lover's voice no matter how strange it sounded. After years or even months of being together, you've learned every nuance to their voice, and it likely stirs something within you.
We are to be the same way with God. "My beloved speaks and says to me, 'Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come away..." (SOS 2:10). When He whispers to us in the night, we should be moved...awakened. There is also wisdom that comes in knowing when our Beloved is speaking to us. It is vital to our faith that we hear and respond to the call of our Shepherd, lest we veer from the path He's set out for us.
Currently, I'm straining to hear Him. I've got a restlessness in my heart that is driving me crazy. I can't figure out if it is just my own discontentment brought about because my flesh is telling me God isn't enough in some area of my life, or if God is urging me in a new direction and the Spirit within me is responding in spite of my flesh's lack of faith. One reason I haven't heard is because I haven't stopped fretting/worrying/jabbering about this problem enough to actually hear His voice. It's amazing what happens when we close our mouths and open our ears.
That's always been one of my problems...I talk at God too much. Yes, "at" is the correct word here. It's like when someone walks up to you and begins talking 100 miles a minute, and you slowly start tuning them out. No longer are you engaged in a conversation, you're just waiting for them to be quiet so maybe you could say something. God, in His infinite patience and faithfulness has not tuned me out, of course. Nay, He is just waiting for me to wait on Him.
At any rate, God is always moving, and I will determine to be eager, not anxious, about what He's up to.
We are to be the same way with God. "My beloved speaks and says to me, 'Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come away..." (SOS 2:10). When He whispers to us in the night, we should be moved...awakened. There is also wisdom that comes in knowing when our Beloved is speaking to us. It is vital to our faith that we hear and respond to the call of our Shepherd, lest we veer from the path He's set out for us.
Currently, I'm straining to hear Him. I've got a restlessness in my heart that is driving me crazy. I can't figure out if it is just my own discontentment brought about because my flesh is telling me God isn't enough in some area of my life, or if God is urging me in a new direction and the Spirit within me is responding in spite of my flesh's lack of faith. One reason I haven't heard is because I haven't stopped fretting/worrying/jabbering about this problem enough to actually hear His voice. It's amazing what happens when we close our mouths and open our ears.
That's always been one of my problems...I talk at God too much. Yes, "at" is the correct word here. It's like when someone walks up to you and begins talking 100 miles a minute, and you slowly start tuning them out. No longer are you engaged in a conversation, you're just waiting for them to be quiet so maybe you could say something. God, in His infinite patience and faithfulness has not tuned me out, of course. Nay, He is just waiting for me to wait on Him.
At any rate, God is always moving, and I will determine to be eager, not anxious, about what He's up to.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
So in an effort to hone some of my domestic skills, I'll be focusing more on cooking (as if I don't do that enough, already!), and sewing. Admittedly, I dropped the needle a year or so ago, and I have yet to make any clothing for myself, so this will be a fun project. For the cooking, I'm really looking into baking breads and other grain oriented staples. My first sewing project will be to make a skirt. This particular project was born from my irritation with the lack of affordable skirts in stores. Not just skirts, but long, plain skirts. I've decided it will be much easier just to make my own skirt...exactly the way I want it. We'll see how that goes.
Financially, I'm really working on streamlining my budget and STICKING TO the budget. That's been a real struggle for me in the past, but God is really dealing with me in this (and so many other) areas.
Anywho, I've been in a book frenzy lately. Over the past couple of weeks, I've really added quite a few good works to my bookshelf. Interestingly enough, many of the books are bent towards marriage and being a godly woman. God is really making me long to grow in femininity and take on the characteristics of a woman after His own heart. Praise Him.
My current prayer is that I would learn to be more content with the life God has given me. That I would stop worrying myself silly about "what's next", and take care of the here and now. Also that I would learn how encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ with Truth and love.
"O, how He loves you and me! O, how He loves you and me! He gave His life, what more could He give? O, how He loves you! O, how He loves me! O, how He loves you and me!"
Financially, I'm really working on streamlining my budget and STICKING TO the budget. That's been a real struggle for me in the past, but God is really dealing with me in this (and so many other) areas.
Anywho, I've been in a book frenzy lately. Over the past couple of weeks, I've really added quite a few good works to my bookshelf. Interestingly enough, many of the books are bent towards marriage and being a godly woman. God is really making me long to grow in femininity and take on the characteristics of a woman after His own heart. Praise Him.
My current prayer is that I would learn to be more content with the life God has given me. That I would stop worrying myself silly about "what's next", and take care of the here and now. Also that I would learn how encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ with Truth and love.
"O, how He loves you and me! O, how He loves you and me! He gave His life, what more could He give? O, how He loves you! O, how He loves me! O, how He loves you and me!"
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing
Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.
Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I'll begin;
Here I'll raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I've come;
And I hope by, Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus saught me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me,
Mortal tongue can never tell;
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Hear's my heart, O take it and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I'll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send Thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.
-words by: Robert Robinson, 1758
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.
Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I'll begin;
Here I'll raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I've come;
And I hope by, Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus saught me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me,
Mortal tongue can never tell;
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Hear's my heart, O take it and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I'll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send Thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.
-words by: Robert Robinson, 1758
Monday, July 28, 2008
Right on time
So you learn a lot about yourself and your parents when one of them is in the hospital. For the past few days, the three of us have been in this one largish hospital room with my slightly cantankerous father being the focal point. I've had a couple of medium sized realizations, that have been kind of cool. The first came to me this morning when the doctor suggested we go ahead and talk to a social worker about applying for disability benefits from social security. We talked about how my father likely will not be able to return to his job in the same position he was in before. My father really isn't wanting to return to the workforce at all, which is understandable since the man is almost 61, and obviously not in good health. I told my parents I could help them with the application process, and they sort of said "yeah, okay...let's go find the social worker." Mom and I went in search of the hospital sw, and when we talked to her, all she said was "you'll have to go to the Social Security office in your area. I can't do anything." I figured that's what she'd say...I could have saved us the trip down the hall.
Mom and I returned to my dad's room, and mom told him what the SW had said. They were soon trying to figure out what SS office they were supposed to go to, and what they would need. Meanwhile, I'd quietly slipped into the corner with my laptop, and had gone to the SS website. Within seconds, I had a list of the documents they would need, and the address of the appropriate SS office. I'd even started calling to set up an appointment, but the line was busy (big surprise). My parents were still trying to figure out what to do, and I finally shared the information I had with them. The both kind of looked at me, and I think I changed from "Oh, that's just our daughter who doesn't know anything," to "This is a professional who can help us." The conversation changed, and my mom started asking me what forms did she need to get, and how could she make an appointment. She's out now, with the little grocery list of info I told her they'd need, trying to get everything.
The second "Ah-ha!" moment happened sometime between Friday and right now. In a previous post, I mentioned being afraid to face my parent's aging/mortality as a single woman. I've come to realize now, that for the time being, I'm actually in a great position to deal with my parents' aging/health issues. Unlike my siblings, I'm freer to be here with them when they need it. For the past few days, I've been spending the night right at my father's bedside, making my mother eat, and keeping on top of the hospital staff. Don't get me wrong, my sister and her family have been here to visit, but they haven't been able to stay as long. My parents feel more comfortable asking me to do things, because they know I don't really have anyone depending on me (like children or a husband). Because I was the last one to leave home, I'm the one that most familiar with their day to day lives, which is helpful when talking to the nurses, doctors, SW's, etc. My point is, God knows what He's doing. I may not always be particularly happy with my singleness, but He's definitely got a purpose for it. He's incredibly faithful, and will meet me at the point of my needs...not prematurely, not late, but right on time. I see now why the song, "He's an On Time God" was written. :-)
Mom and I returned to my dad's room, and mom told him what the SW had said. They were soon trying to figure out what SS office they were supposed to go to, and what they would need. Meanwhile, I'd quietly slipped into the corner with my laptop, and had gone to the SS website. Within seconds, I had a list of the documents they would need, and the address of the appropriate SS office. I'd even started calling to set up an appointment, but the line was busy (big surprise). My parents were still trying to figure out what to do, and I finally shared the information I had with them. The both kind of looked at me, and I think I changed from "Oh, that's just our daughter who doesn't know anything," to "This is a professional who can help us." The conversation changed, and my mom started asking me what forms did she need to get, and how could she make an appointment. She's out now, with the little grocery list of info I told her they'd need, trying to get everything.
The second "Ah-ha!" moment happened sometime between Friday and right now. In a previous post, I mentioned being afraid to face my parent's aging/mortality as a single woman. I've come to realize now, that for the time being, I'm actually in a great position to deal with my parents' aging/health issues. Unlike my siblings, I'm freer to be here with them when they need it. For the past few days, I've been spending the night right at my father's bedside, making my mother eat, and keeping on top of the hospital staff. Don't get me wrong, my sister and her family have been here to visit, but they haven't been able to stay as long. My parents feel more comfortable asking me to do things, because they know I don't really have anyone depending on me (like children or a husband). Because I was the last one to leave home, I'm the one that most familiar with their day to day lives, which is helpful when talking to the nurses, doctors, SW's, etc. My point is, God knows what He's doing. I may not always be particularly happy with my singleness, but He's definitely got a purpose for it. He's incredibly faithful, and will meet me at the point of my needs...not prematurely, not late, but right on time. I see now why the song, "He's an On Time God" was written. :-)
Sunday, June 8, 2008
The people you'd love to hate; only you can't
"(7) For my people are bent on turning from Me. Though they call them to the One on high, None at all exalts Him. (8) How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I surrender you, O Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I treat you like Zeboiim? My heart is turned over within Me, All My compassions are kindled" - Hosea 11:7&8
I stumbled across this verse during church today just before communion. It pierced right into my heart like never before. I actually already had verse 8 highlighted, but I don't think it's ever effected me so strongly. I immediately teared up, and would have actually sobbed if I had not put a firm clamp on my rampant emotions. This is such a beautiful verse because it shows just how much God loves us, IN SPITE OF US. He's determined to love us, and can do nothing else because that is just who He is.
FYI: Zeboiim is one of the cities that was destroyed with Sodom and Gomorrah. The same also applies to Admah.
I stumbled across this verse during church today just before communion. It pierced right into my heart like never before. I actually already had verse 8 highlighted, but I don't think it's ever effected me so strongly. I immediately teared up, and would have actually sobbed if I had not put a firm clamp on my rampant emotions. This is such a beautiful verse because it shows just how much God loves us, IN SPITE OF US. He's determined to love us, and can do nothing else because that is just who He is.
FYI: Zeboiim is one of the cities that was destroyed with Sodom and Gomorrah. The same also applies to Admah.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Join with all nature in manifold witness...
As I was cleaning my apartment, I found this poem I'd written under a pile of papers. It was written on May 9th of this year. I make no promises about the grammatical correctness of this poem.
Come
From the darkness came the voice of my Beloved. he wooes me gently with soft words and loving-kindness.
Strong and steady as a mountain is His love for me
Nothing and no one will tear me from my Beloved's arms
I am my Beloved's, and He is mine.
He adorns me in righteousness, because of Him, I am beautiful.
Sheltered by His never ending grace, I know no fear and no want.
Minions of the evil one cannot harm me
I am my Beloved's, and He is mine
Patient, kind and unselfish is His love, I am the apple of His eye.
Though I flit and run into the arms of others, my Beloved remains;
great is His faithfulness.
Each day He awakens me, that I may know His mercy in a new way
Battered & bruised, broken & scorned, I came to Him. He has made me new.
I am my Beloved's, and He is mine.
jl
Come
From the darkness came the voice of my Beloved. he wooes me gently with soft words and loving-kindness.
Strong and steady as a mountain is His love for me
Nothing and no one will tear me from my Beloved's arms
I am my Beloved's, and He is mine.
He adorns me in righteousness, because of Him, I am beautiful.
Sheltered by His never ending grace, I know no fear and no want.
Minions of the evil one cannot harm me
I am my Beloved's, and He is mine
Patient, kind and unselfish is His love, I am the apple of His eye.
Though I flit and run into the arms of others, my Beloved remains;
great is His faithfulness.
Each day He awakens me, that I may know His mercy in a new way
Battered & bruised, broken & scorned, I came to Him. He has made me new.
I am my Beloved's, and He is mine.
jl
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