Earlier tonight, a fierce storm was brewing over my humble little town. Lightening was illuminating the sky, making it almost as bright as day. The cloudy sky was filled with shadowy silhouettes, and it looked like lights were being turned on in distant rooms. As I was driving with my head out of the window, I was struck with the sudden overwhelming desire to be Home. Not in my cozy apartment or my parents familiar abode, but HOME...really HOME. I longed to take up residence in those distant rooms hinted at by the lightening bolts. I wanted to sit at my Father's feet and be endlessly content in His presence and perfect peace.
O Lord, you are my Dwelling Place, my Treasure, my True Home. You are Magnificent and Beautiful. I cannot keep Your praises from bubbling up from my innermost being. You alone are so infinitely worthy! Come quickly, my Rock, lest my heart become faint from longing. Thank you for wanting me, pursuing me, and loving me. Amen.
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Finding home
My life over the past few months has been nothing short of chaotic, fun, miserable, meaningful, and frustrating. For you bloggers out there, one of the most notable things that has occurred is that my computer has died. There is no bringing it back in the near future, and I've even had my Internet cancelled at home. Surprisingly, I haven't really missed having 24/7 access to the Internet (who are we kidding, what I really mean is 27/7 access to facebook). Every once in a while, I wince because I've missed an important email or message, but other than that, it's really been nice to focus my energies on other things.
Ballroom dancing has really taken over my life; it's crazy. Not a day goes by that I don't dance...even if just for a few seconds. Being a single woman can make the love of dance quite frustrating. For those of us ladies out there who refuse to step out of our role as the pursued, this can mean sitting out during many great songs...many dances not danced. The desire to be sought after does not dissipate when one steps into the dance hall. There's something about dancing that changes a woman. I don't know if it's just me, but it's almost this Cinderella experience. You're sitting there, and this wonderful song comes on, then out of no where a gentleman comes and asks you to dance. You spin, glide, laugh and get wrapped up in the rhythm, the sweet melody, and if you're lucky...your partner. It can be an intoxicating experience. For a moment, you feel beautiful, carefree and happy. Now please don't get too bogged down in the romantic side of ballroom dancing, it can be maddening when you can't seem to get the steps right, you're off rhythm, and the cologne of one of your dance partners just won't seem to wash off...even after using a Brillo pad to scrub your skin. Ah yes, even after nights like that, I still love dancing. I could go on about it, but I think you catch my drift.
I find myself becoming more settled in my life. I'm starting to get more involved with my community, and really taking a look at what being an active, productive citizen means to me. At the moment, I'm starting small...coaching a little league team, and being part of a homeless coalition. Hopefully, I'll add to my activities more over the next few years. My schedule is seriously getting jam packed each week. At first my weekends were sort of wide open, but not those are also requiring a good bit of coordination. Both this coming Friday and Saturday, I may attempt to be in 3 different places at once.
I like being busy, though. It keeps me out of trouble. I'm not sure if literally not having time to get into trouble really counts as triumphing over temptation...probably not. The real test comes in the quite. What do you think about...dwell on...when everything else is silent? One thing I've taken the time to think about is my singleness. What to do with it, how to handle it, possible causes of it. For the first time in my life, I'm genuinely okay with being single. Hmm..."okay" isn't the best word; let's go with "at home". Yes, that has a better ring to it. I'm at home in my singleness. What does this mean? It doesn't mean I've abandoned all hope in obtaining a husband, I think marriage is a great and wonderfully sanctifying thing if that's what the Lord has called you to. Being at home in my singleness is more like diving head first into it and enjoying where the Lord has me. It's cultivating a rich life without constantly looking over my shoulder to see if Mr. Right is coming. It's realizing I can still very much so be a homemaker even though I don't have a husband or children. I can make people feel loved, welcomed, and at home with me. It also means I can feel at home in myself, and while I'm not always happy with everything about myself, I do have a pretty good idea of who I am, and what I want.
Friendships mean so much more when you take the time to really digest them, savor conversations with close friends, stoke the fires of acquaintanceship, and rebuilding broken relationships. Friendship really does add spice to life.
To sum everything up, I'll describe the past few months in 3 words: joy, passion, and frustration. So much has happened, way more than I care to cover here, but do know, gentle readers, that I have not forgotten you!
Ballroom dancing has really taken over my life; it's crazy. Not a day goes by that I don't dance...even if just for a few seconds. Being a single woman can make the love of dance quite frustrating. For those of us ladies out there who refuse to step out of our role as the pursued, this can mean sitting out during many great songs...many dances not danced. The desire to be sought after does not dissipate when one steps into the dance hall. There's something about dancing that changes a woman. I don't know if it's just me, but it's almost this Cinderella experience. You're sitting there, and this wonderful song comes on, then out of no where a gentleman comes and asks you to dance. You spin, glide, laugh and get wrapped up in the rhythm, the sweet melody, and if you're lucky...your partner. It can be an intoxicating experience. For a moment, you feel beautiful, carefree and happy. Now please don't get too bogged down in the romantic side of ballroom dancing, it can be maddening when you can't seem to get the steps right, you're off rhythm, and the cologne of one of your dance partners just won't seem to wash off...even after using a Brillo pad to scrub your skin. Ah yes, even after nights like that, I still love dancing. I could go on about it, but I think you catch my drift.
I find myself becoming more settled in my life. I'm starting to get more involved with my community, and really taking a look at what being an active, productive citizen means to me. At the moment, I'm starting small...coaching a little league team, and being part of a homeless coalition. Hopefully, I'll add to my activities more over the next few years. My schedule is seriously getting jam packed each week. At first my weekends were sort of wide open, but not those are also requiring a good bit of coordination. Both this coming Friday and Saturday, I may attempt to be in 3 different places at once.
I like being busy, though. It keeps me out of trouble. I'm not sure if literally not having time to get into trouble really counts as triumphing over temptation...probably not. The real test comes in the quite. What do you think about...dwell on...when everything else is silent? One thing I've taken the time to think about is my singleness. What to do with it, how to handle it, possible causes of it. For the first time in my life, I'm genuinely okay with being single. Hmm..."okay" isn't the best word; let's go with "at home". Yes, that has a better ring to it. I'm at home in my singleness. What does this mean? It doesn't mean I've abandoned all hope in obtaining a husband, I think marriage is a great and wonderfully sanctifying thing if that's what the Lord has called you to. Being at home in my singleness is more like diving head first into it and enjoying where the Lord has me. It's cultivating a rich life without constantly looking over my shoulder to see if Mr. Right is coming. It's realizing I can still very much so be a homemaker even though I don't have a husband or children. I can make people feel loved, welcomed, and at home with me. It also means I can feel at home in myself, and while I'm not always happy with everything about myself, I do have a pretty good idea of who I am, and what I want.
Friendships mean so much more when you take the time to really digest them, savor conversations with close friends, stoke the fires of acquaintanceship, and rebuilding broken relationships. Friendship really does add spice to life.
To sum everything up, I'll describe the past few months in 3 words: joy, passion, and frustration. So much has happened, way more than I care to cover here, but do know, gentle readers, that I have not forgotten you!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Home sweet home
As of late, I have been positively consumed with Biblical womanhood. There is an absolute plethora of information out there on this subject! I've stumbled across TONS of really good websites that have given me much in encouragement in this area. If possible there are even more BLOGS kept by some pretty amazing women. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading about their daily struggles, triumphs, heartaches and moments of outright JOY! Though, I have a fair amount of knowledge on homemaking just from my education and upbringing, I've learned much from these blogs and websites. Everything from "frugal living" to "how to make your home smell yummy." Homemaking and femininity are looked down upon in our society. The ideas of staying home to raise your children, and instilling the importance of family and God, are lost upon my generation. One blog, written by an older homemaker (I think her children are grown, and out of the nest), had helpful tips and advice for women who didn't have a "homemaking mentor".
This got me to thinking about my own upbringing. The more I get to know different people, the more grateful for my mother I become. She, taught me SO much about cooking, sewing, and making a house a home. There wasn't a formal "training", but rather, she just lived her life, and I learned untold numbers of valuable lessons from it. I remember when I was about 4 years old, I saw her sewing at the kitchen one day, and I walked up and said, "whatcha doin?". She said simply said, "sewing." Next thing ya know, I'd climbed up into one of the chairs next to her and started imitating her movements. She didn't really say anything, but rather, corrected me when I'd mess up (which was fairly often). I've been sewing ever since then. The same sort of thing happened with cooking.
I always loved to help her in the kitchen, or just to watch what she was doing. Every once in a while, she'd let me experiment by myself. Sometimes, if we'd seen some new and interesting food on TV, like an exotic fruit or new way of preparing something, she'd take me to the library, and we'd look up books about it. Then, the next time we went to the grocery store, we'd get it. The real fun when we'd come home and try it. It wasn't that my mom was a Suzy Homemaker type, but more that she just did the things she'd been taught by her mother. As for the food experiments, we did those because SHE was genuinely interested in trying new things, and wanted to satisfy her own curiosity.
When I have friends over for supper, it's so interesting to see what they do when they arrive, it says a lot about their upbringing. Usually guys will just go hang out in the living room, but the women do one of two things: 1.) They offer to help or 2.) They sit at the table, and watch me cook. Naturally, the women who grew up helping their mother in the kitchen, automatically offer to help, and the women who didn't, just sit and watch. I'm saddened that so many young women today know nothing about homemaking, because it has virtually nothing to do with being a domestic slave; it's about knowing how to manage your affairs. I guess this post is really just one, big "THANK YOU" to my mom, because as I read the blogs of these joyful homemakers and their many "adventures", I'm grateful to my mother for giving me a foundation from which to spring forth. Hopefully, someday I will be able to use my knowledge and abilities in an extended disco version way...when/if the Lord ever blesses me with a husband and a duck line of babies, but for now...I'm gonna go sit in my recliner and enjoy this tiny haven I've come to call home.
This got me to thinking about my own upbringing. The more I get to know different people, the more grateful for my mother I become. She, taught me SO much about cooking, sewing, and making a house a home. There wasn't a formal "training", but rather, she just lived her life, and I learned untold numbers of valuable lessons from it. I remember when I was about 4 years old, I saw her sewing at the kitchen one day, and I walked up and said, "whatcha doin?". She said simply said, "sewing." Next thing ya know, I'd climbed up into one of the chairs next to her and started imitating her movements. She didn't really say anything, but rather, corrected me when I'd mess up (which was fairly often). I've been sewing ever since then. The same sort of thing happened with cooking.
I always loved to help her in the kitchen, or just to watch what she was doing. Every once in a while, she'd let me experiment by myself. Sometimes, if we'd seen some new and interesting food on TV, like an exotic fruit or new way of preparing something, she'd take me to the library, and we'd look up books about it. Then, the next time we went to the grocery store, we'd get it. The real fun when we'd come home and try it. It wasn't that my mom was a Suzy Homemaker type, but more that she just did the things she'd been taught by her mother. As for the food experiments, we did those because SHE was genuinely interested in trying new things, and wanted to satisfy her own curiosity.
When I have friends over for supper, it's so interesting to see what they do when they arrive, it says a lot about their upbringing. Usually guys will just go hang out in the living room, but the women do one of two things: 1.) They offer to help or 2.) They sit at the table, and watch me cook. Naturally, the women who grew up helping their mother in the kitchen, automatically offer to help, and the women who didn't, just sit and watch. I'm saddened that so many young women today know nothing about homemaking, because it has virtually nothing to do with being a domestic slave; it's about knowing how to manage your affairs. I guess this post is really just one, big "THANK YOU" to my mom, because as I read the blogs of these joyful homemakers and their many "adventures", I'm grateful to my mother for giving me a foundation from which to spring forth. Hopefully, someday I will be able to use my knowledge and abilities in an extended disco version way...when/if the Lord ever blesses me with a husband and a duck line of babies, but for now...I'm gonna go sit in my recliner and enjoy this tiny haven I've come to call home.
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