When I was much younger...probably 5 or so, I left "love notes" in my daddy's lunch bucket. I'd wake up every morning, and write something like "Have a good day!", "I love you!" or draw a smiley face on small slips of paper. I'd sneak into the kitchen, and stick them in with his lunch before anyone could see me. I think I only did that a couple of years, but I used to love picturing him opening it and smiling. He really didn't ever say anything about it at home, but I knew he liked it. A couple of times my mom found them in his overalls when she did laundry.
Probably until I was around 8, a few times a week right before bedtime, my dad and I would get into my parent's bed, and call my grandfather (dad's dad). We'd take turns talking to him, and when the call was over, we'd talk about our days for a bit. Afterwards, I'd crawl out of their bed and go to my own room where my mother would be waiting to read me a bedtime story. I used to look forward to talking to my Papaw, and daddy before bed. It was our thing.
Sometimes in the evenings, my dad and I would sit and watch TV together. He'd sit on the floor at my feet and hand me a brush, to have me brush his scalp. You see, my father is completely bald...only about 8 hairs on his head...maybe. I've never seen him with hair (other than the afore mentioned 8). He's got a very shiny head...looks like a Milk Dud. :-) Anyway, he said he loved it when I brushed his scalp, and honestly, so did I.
May 2005, I'd finished my first year at Baylor, and my parents had come up to help me move out of the dorm and back home for the summer. They had a UHaul trailer hitched to their truck, and we'd just finished putting everything in. We'd been on the road about an hour or so and my mom was talking to me about something, when from the back I heard a very quiet, "She drives like me" from my dad. It was an unexpectedly, intensely sweet moment. I'm sure he doesn't know I heard him, and I don't think he wanted me to. I looked in the rear view mirror and caught him looking at me, and smiling to himself.
Zooming into the more recent past, a couple of weeks ago when my father was in the hospital, I went back to East TX to be with him. I was there 5 nights, and I spent 4 of those nights in the hospital in a chair right next to his bed (I made my mom sleep on the fold out bed across the room). At night he didn't sleep very well, so neither did I. If he moved even a little bit, I'd wake up. I imagine that's what it's like when you have a newborn.
Don't get me wrong, my father and I had a horrible relationship for the longest time during my pre-teen/teen years, but things have gotten better. As it turns out, we both secretly loved each other very much, but the only one who knew it was my mom. Every once in a while she tells me of comments he made about me when I was younger...things he did for me, sacrifices he's made even now...for his "little dumpling". He's absolutely adored me all my life, and I never would have really known if not for my mom telling me.
This brings me to my point...Fathers: TELL your children (especially your daughters) how much you love them, and back it up with your actions. Be intentional about creating special moments with them, so that they'll have those fond memories to reflect on when they get older. Mothers: Encourage your husbands to be great fathers. Help him understand how important the father-daughter relationship is, and how essential it is that his children see AND hear how much he loves them.
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