Therapist Wanted

Written 4/13/08:

Yesterday (Saturday) we had our 3 game of the season, and....yeah...it was not pretty. We lost 5-1. The kiddos were trying their hardest, so I guess I'm proud of them for that. (For those of you that don't know, I'm coaching a little league soccer team for FBC Waco...1st and 2nd graders). So now we're 1-2...at least we aren't dead last in our league, though. Anyway, we had a new kid join our team today. She's a super cute 7 yr old who has totally traumatized me for life; hence the title of this post. Since we had 8 players show up for the game, I decided to play 6 and have 2 subs.

I'd rotated out the new kid, and she was sitting on the bench next to me watching the game...or so I thought. It turns out she was studying my hand. Suddenly she asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?" I was a bit startled by the question since it seemed so out of the blue...I'd just met this kid like 15 mins before the game, for crying out loud! "Nope, I don't." I replied, wondering what had even brought this up. "Do you have a husband?," she persisted. Looking at my hands, I realized she'd been looking at the silver ring on my right ring finger. "The ring is on my right hand, not my left. Wedding rings go on your left hand. No, I don't have a husband," I explained. "Why not?", came the incredulous response. "Do you have kids?" She'd said this before I had a chance to reply to her previous question. "No, I don't have kids. Right now God wants me to be single, and that's perfectly okay. There is nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend or a husband."

I was having an out of body experience by this point. Physically, I was sitting there calmly answering her prying questions, but my spirit was sitting next to me on the bench staring at her in shock, probably thinking "What a brazen child this is! She has not been taught proper manners! Look at how she speaks to me!" Truth be told, she was quite calm and matter-of-fact about the whole thing. To her it just seemed odd that someone of my apparent old age, wouldn't be married with children. I thought she was done with her questioning, but no...oh no.
"Don't you want children, Coach Jen?" She may as well have stabbed me right in the heart. "Don't you want a husband?" At this point I looked around wondering was this actually happening. The assistant coach, one of my friends, had heard much of the exchanged and walked away snickering to herself, before these last two shots were fired in my heart. For a minute, I didn't know what to say. Should I explain about not always getting what we want?

Ugh...this is one of those "guide their hearts" moments people are always talking about. I thought for a second, then turned to face her a bit more fully. "Yes, I do want children...and a husband very much, but you see...God has a different plan for me right now. God knows what I need, and when I need it. He will give me a husband and children at just the right time, because His timing is perfect. So it's okay that I'm not married and I don't have kids right now." She seemed to be processing that answer...not sure if she understood it fully, or what. After a few seconds of silence, she said, "My parents are married." Honestly, I was still feeling a tiny bit wounded from her original interrogation. The desire to have children is frequently at the forefront of my mind, but the desire for a husband...well...it waxes and wanes a bit. (Weird, and horribly backwards, I know) For the past couple of days, however; both urges had waged war on my heart. Children are like arrows...they get to the heart of things. Ah...the quiverful movement.
Anywho, I decided to fire some questions back at hear, just to make sure I wasn't missing another teaching moment. "Do you have a boyfriend?" The look she gave me was quite comical. "I'm 7," she said...somewhat exasperatedly. Laughing, I said, "True. I was just making sure." A smile slowly spread over her cute face, "My daddy says I'm not allowed to date...ever. That's okay with me. Boys are kinda weird, but it's still okay to play soccer with them." Where has this kid been all my life? "That's right, it's fun to play soccer with them. Your daddy is very smart, dating isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's better to wait as long as possible. Being friends with boys is good enough." We both kinda laughed, and turned to watch the game. Her earlier inquiries are still haunting me, though. They echo the same things I've been asking God as of late...especially in light of the recent developments in my life. Oh well. To quote the lovely Ms. Sheryl Crow, "Everyday is a winding road...I get a little bit closer...everyday is a faded sign...I get a little bit closer to feelin' fine."