Bye Bye Baby

Written 5/3/08

Today was the last day of our little league soccer season. You gotta give it to my babies...they've been very consistent. We lost 4-0. The highlight of the game was when our goalie dove for a ball, and when it bounced off him, he crawled about 7 feet to get it. It was a hardcore we're-in-the-army-now kind of crawl. The ball was still in bounds, but his teammates and the other team were so fascinated by the site of his passionate pursuit of the ball, that they didn't go after it, but just stood and watched him.

We had the cookout and awards ceremony in the afternoon. After the ceremony, I hung out for a bit then decided to go. I found a few of my kiddos sitting w/their fams and walked over to say my goodbyes. As I was hugging them for the last time, it hit me how much I hate that part of ministry. I hate not seeing where the children I work with will be years from now. I hate not knowing the end of the story. I hate the idea that I may or may not get to see them in heaven one day. I want to see what they're like when they're adults...how they treat their own children. Anyway, I said goodbye to the boys (who were surprisingly sad...didn't expect them to be as sad as they were).

I went to say goodbye to one of the girls, and I knew it would be hard. She's the child who made me question everything in my life mentioned in one of the previous post. She looked up at me with misty eyes, and said "I'm really gonna miss you Coach Jen." I got a tiny bit misty eyed; it was like one of those scenes in movies where the adult says something like "Look deep in your heart, little one, I am always with you. " or something like that. I'm horrible with goodbyes. I always get too choked up to actually say anything. I wanted to share some last words of encouragement and comfort, but instead I said, "I know....I'll miss you too." and hurried off before I actually did cry.

So yeah, that's over. I'm considering helping with the basketball team in the fall. We'll see. I can't help but wonder why I work with children, and it hit me when I walked over to where some kids were playing today, and one of my babies was there. When he turned and saw me, his face lit up and he ran over saying "Coach Jen! Coach Jen!" and proceeded to dive into my arms. As we were walking to were the rest of the team was, he reached up and grabbed my hand...one of the sweetest moments in my life. It wasn't the first time he's done something like that...he did it during practice all the time, but at that moment when I was tired from trying to coral kids in an inflatable obstacle course and feeling frustrated...that was just what I needed.