That moment when you remember that thing you were supposed to do, a few hours before you're supposed to do it. It hit me earlier, that I'd intended to attend a book discussion with a group of ladies today, and I had yet to even get the book, much less read it. I frantically looked online to find out the author and possible local vendors. As I read the discriptions of the book, I froze in my tracks. It sounded like yet another "Chicken soup for the Soccer Mom's soul" sort of books. You know the kind, all about encouraging women as they cart around their eighty billion children, run marathons and make dinner for their insanely hot husbands. Those sort of books are what 90% of Christian women's book studies are studying. I know there are women who find them incredibly encouraging, and devour them hungrily, but I am not one of those people. 9 times out of 10, I end up tossing the book aside, and the book studies end up being more discouraging than a blessing. I plaster a smile on my face, and pretend that yes, the chapter on praying your child through potty training was the most inspirational nugget of wisdom I have ever read, and I applied it immediately to my life.

In Christian culture, there seems to be this belief that your single years are kind of unimportant and largely just the staging area for "real life", meaning marriage and children. I hear so many people say things like, "yeah, my single years were fun, but I couldn't wait to move on to the stuff that matters, like having a family." This perception of singlehood being one big party is inaccurate, dangerous and irritating. To walk away believing that your life is somehow meaningless because you don't have a mate and haven't procreated, is indescribably disheartening. If I hear one more well meaning person say, "Wait til you get married and have kids, then you'll have real problems!", I may scream. It is typically said without malice, but certainly with complete ignorance.

Trying to bare your soul to a married person can be absolutely mind-numbing at times. Every response begins with, "Before I got married...", and usually ends with a hint that marriage may be your saving grace in any situation. What's sad is that even people who have only recently been married, somehow undergo this change overnight, and are almost excited to join the "winning" team. Newly wed friends, LOVE to give their sad, single buds uninvited advice and pity. Their relief over no longer being among the singles crowd is palpable.

All this to say, there needs to be a better response to singles special needs from the church. Sometimes we just need our own women's book studies with books selected by other singles. We need groups where singles minister to each other. I know, typically they want a married person ministering to single to supposedly keep things safe, but it's not always best. A constant diet of happily married couples can lead to quite a bit of lusting and ill content for the single person. By lusting, I mean, wanting marriage in an unhealthy way. Letting thoughts of it consume you. Placing marriage on the throne of your heart, where Jesus is supposed to abide. At any rate, I will continue to find a solution to my issue of wanting more fellowship with women, but not wanting to have to sit through yet another book study in which I start daydreaming about stabbing my eyeballs out.