Please don't stop the music!

I was driving back to my parents house after a long day at work and some significant time killing, when I started thinking about heaven. At work, while I was baking my frillionth cookie and rethinking some of my life choices, I tuned into what the chef was saying to one of the sous chefs. I'm not sure what lead to the conversation, but I heard the chef suddenly say, "So what are you going to do when you die?". My ears perked up, and the sous chef said, "Nothing happens when you die. You're just dead and in the ground." For the next 7 minutes or so, the chef talked to this woman about Hell, The Bible, God and salvation. I just sat, mesmerized by how he did it so lovingly, firmly and all while chopping veggies (she chopped chicken). He didn't making it a "thing" he just told her Hell is real, so is God and you need Jesus. Apparently, he'd given her a Bible before and she didn't really do anything with it. This time was different I guess, because she asked questions. He gave her suggestions as to what to read first in the Bible, and explained how the copy he'd given her was different from her mother's Catholic Bible. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it! Sure, I've had several conversations about faith while at work and have had the chance to even pray with a few people, but usually it's with believers who are struggling with their faith or occasionally commenting on something someone says. The man saw an opportunity and jumped in without hesitation! That's how it's supposed to be! After the conversation came to a natural end, they went about their business, no awkwardness, no anger, just more chopping, stirring and serving up tasty food. Since it blessed me, I thought I'd bless you with that little tidbit.

Something else that rustled up the heavenly thoughts was listening to the radio. Given that I spend roughly 1.5 hours in the car a day (on a good day), I have ample opportunity to listen to the radio and my CDs. I love worship music that doesn't point you towards itself, but towards God. There are some groups and some songs that make so much ruckus and are so distracting that God completely gets washed out, and you're just left depleted after the emotional adrenaline rush.

Anywho, I was listening to one of my favorite groups when it hit me. Imagine the most intense worship experience you've ever had. I'm talking the point where you thought you just couldn't take anymore. Where God felt so near, you seriously feared you'd be crushed from the weight of Him, blinded by His beauty and struck dumb by His glory. Times all of that by a ka-jillion. That's heaven (to me, at least). Think about it...you may have felt Him all those other times, but in heaven, He'll actually physically BE THERE. Thank goodness we'll have new bodies, because I know my current shell would not be able to withstand heaven unleashed.

How exciting is that? Spending all eternity worshipping the infinitely beautiful, King of kings and Lord of Lords? I'm just gonna say it now, pretty sure the DCB will be reunited and playing continuously. Hallelujah!

I have nobody...to call my own...

Community is a beautiful thing. To be with others who love you, care about you and want nothing but good things for you is so comforting. No matter where you are in life, whether you're single, married with 20 babies or retired, community is important. God did not create us to live in solitude. For some, community happens more easily...young married couples with little ones are everywhere, they don't really have to look hard to find a group. College students typically don't have to look far to find their own kind or those that are willing to adopt them. It's the singles out there who seem to have a bit of a challenge. My heart really goes out to single men because it seems no one really knows what to do with them. Everyone loves women, so single women typically flock together, get grafted into families or adopted by older couples. Single men are just odd...they are like pinkie toes. They are necessary, but you aren't sure what to do with them. Anyway, I've veered from my point, let me return.

When I arrived in Waco in 2004, I was immediately thrust into various communities. There was the community I found in the dorms, the body of believers, and the circles of good friends from school. Community came to me, and it was good. After graduating, things got a little harder. No longer did I have the automatic community of college ministry folks, classmates, or roommates. I didn't feel connected to the college students at church because we were in very different places in our lives at that time. I was even viewed differently at church because people know how to handle me as a college student, but now I was just a random single woman. For once, I had to make community happen. I had to build relationships in a different way, allow a few to mature, and let others go by the wayside. Gatherings and hang outs had to be planned, they no longer happened organically. I became an event planner almost overnight. Dinner parties, game nights, movie nights, women and wine nights became my life. After a few years of hard work, I once again felt I was living in community again. My love for my church and those around me matured. I matured and life was good.

Now that I've moved back to Tyler I find myself back where I was after I graduated from Baylor. Communitiless (is that a word? It should be). I've found a good church, it's just a matter of making life together happen. I never realized how much community meant to me until now. I'm drowning in loneliness. My planner is collecting dust, I spent 10 hours on the phone this past week talking to the community I left. For years, I barely used my minutes, and now I'm burning through them like they're going out of style. I miss having dinner parties, having friends within walking distance, laughing until I cry my contacts out and my face cramps. I miss women and wine nights! Friday nights used to be filled with dancing, laughter and late night trips to IHOP. This last Friday I spent the evening at home watching Ghost Adventures and drinking milk. Sigh.